


honey, when your eyes have dried

by love_killed_the_superstar



Series: ascend to the stars [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, pearl tries to overcompensate for abandoning steven, so garnet shares the love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3980785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_killed_the_superstar/pseuds/love_killed_the_superstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're right there, but you feel so far away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	honey, when your eyes have dried

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to try and bounce back from my slump in chapter 1 of my rosepearl fic, since I've hit a wall. Usually when I'm trying to do shit it helps when I write something new, so here is another angsty pearlnet fic following my usual recipe (pearl crying, garnet comforting).

“You're not alone.”

_Was that supposed to make her feel better? It didn't._

Night had befallen Beach City, marking almost two weeks since Rose's passing. Mourning was a foreign concept to the gems, whom hadn't lost a team mate, much less so a leader, for thousands of years. They had each dealt with their grief differently; Amethyst had taken to keeping away from Steven altogether, disappearing on the warp pad the day he was born and staying wherever she was ever since; Garnet had taken to Rose's son first, but had left him with Greg for intervals of disappearing to some rocky terrain and pounding craters into the ground with her gauntlets, hoping it would take the pain away; Pearl had kept to her room and cried solidly for days, having only left the confines of the temple four days ago to meet Steven personally. She hadn't left his side since.

Pearl continued to tend to Steven absent-mindedly, cradling him as he continued to drink from the bottle of formula milk with a contented look on his face. Garnet watched her fuss over the baby in her arms.

“You don't have to try so hard,” she tried again. Pearl muttered something to the baby, removing the bottle for a moment to dab at a dribble of milk trailing down his chin. He whimpered in protest and she returned the nipple of the bottle to his mouth again quickly.

“Pearl,” Garnet bleated.

“What?” Pearl uttered the word so vacantly, Garnet was surprised she'd actually responded at all. “What is it, Garnet?”

“You need to rest,” Garnet said gently, reaching out her hands to take Steven. Pearl took a step back instinctively, her grip on Steven tightening.

“I'm fine, Garnet,” she gabbled, putting down the now empty bottle on the counter carefully. She lifted Steven to her shoulder, positioning a cloth on the edge before gently patting his back.

“It's been four days,” Garnet said quietly. “You haven't let him out of your sight since then. I can take over.”

“I told you I'm fine,” she insisted, continuing to rub circles into his back as Steven let out a soft hiccup. “I'm just making up for lost time, that's all.”

“You need a break,” Garnet said firmly. “Give him here.”

“No!” Steven let out a small sob, unnerved by the sudden outburst, and Pearl was quick to soothe him, shushing his cries and beginning to walk around in slow circles, patting his back as he continued to burp. “I-I want to do this. I _have_ to do this.”

“Pearl, you're spreading yourself too thin. A human child is a lot to handle on your own.”

Pearl shook her head, holding Steven closer to her body. “No. I can do this. You don't understand-”

“You're trying to make amends for Rose's sake,” Garnet stated, and Pearl froze.

_You left him alone to cry when he needed you. You promised Rose you would take care of her son, yet you ran. You think if you can just hold him for long enough, she'll sense you. She'll know how truly sorry you are._

Garnet didn't need to say it. Pearl's body began to shake with shuddering sobs.

“I couldn't even fulfil that last request of hers,” she wept, holding Steven as though he would break if she loosened her grip even slightly. “I p-promised her, Garnet, but when it happened, I-”

“It's okay.” Garnet took a few steps forward, awkwardly putting her arms around Pearl as she continued to cry. There was no guidebook to helping her fellow gems recover from losing their guidepost, their leader, and part of Garnet instinctively knew that now Rose was gone it was her turn to pick up the slack and piece the team back together.

She knew for Pearl it was more than losing their dearest friend, though. Pearl had _loved_ Rose, truly loved her with every ounce of her being, and the thought of enduring that pain was almost too much to bear. (Garnet briefly pictured Ruby's life without Sapphire, or Sapphire's life without Ruby, and despairingly found she couldn't picture it without wanting to cry. They were all grieving in different ways but Pearl's loss was something she prayed she would never have to endure.)

“You're one gem, Pearl,” Garnet muttered. “You aren't alone in this. You have a lifetime to take care of Steven... a few of his early days aren't going to be missed, by Steven or by Rose.”

“What would she say... if she knew what I'd done...” Pearl continued to wail, unable to stop the tears. Steven was resting against her chest, grumbling in protest.

“She would understand why. Rose had a big heart. You're doing your best.”

“I miss her,” Pearl sobbed, “I love her. How could I have turned her child away?”

Garnet pulled Pearl into a tighter embrace, holding her steady as Pearl continued to shudder and cry against her. She lowered her head, planting a hesitant kiss on Pearl's gem. It caused the smaller gem to still instantly, her breathing shallow and ragged.

“We all miss her in different ways. Amethyst will come back to us in time, and when she does... we'll talk about this together.”

“Y-Yes, of course,” Pearl muttered, reaching to wipe her eyes. Steven hiccuped into her shirt, and she looked down. “Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, Steven... it's okay...”

She held him in place again, patting his back softly. “I'm sorry for being this way, Garnet...”

“S'okay.” Garnet reached forward to pat the top of Pearl's head, before reaching for Steven. “I'll take over.”

“Okay,” she said quietly, planting her lips on Steven's forehead before passing him over. She hugged herself as Garnet held the baby in her arms, mouth turning up into a smile. She didn't tell Garnet how empty her arms felt now that Steven wasn't there, or how warm his gem had felt against her skin when she had spoken of Rose to him.

_You're right there, but you feel so far away._

“Yikes,” said Garnet simply as Steven burped a trail of milk down the back of her sleeve.

Pearl, not knowing what else to do, laughed harder than she had in a long time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> All of the songs on the Last Days of April album Ascend to the Stars are so magical in their own soft, repetitive way. I have ideas for some su fics to match every song, so whenever I'm in a creative slump I'll slap another one on the pile.
> 
> This fic was inspired by track 9, At Your Most Beautiful.


End file.
